Fools Aplenty
by lain
Summary: Duo struggles with who he truly loves. Warning: shounen ai-Duo, Heero and Trowa.


Ahem, hi. Been awhile but I did say I was lazy on my profile^^; This is a fic from a  
contest from a while back and one of the few finished ones I have. Since my page is   
pretty bare with only two stories up, sending this might fatten it up a bit.  
  
Author: lain  
Pairings: 1+2/2+1, 3+2/2+3  
Category: Angst  
Rating: PG  
Warnings: Bastardized Heero (don't hit me!) and slight OOC in Trowa.  
Disclaimers: Not mine. No $. No harm intended except for complete  
dictatorship of the characters.  
Feedback: shrugs 'k...   
Note: I dedicate this to Little Duckie for the great betaing and putting up  
with me. You're the best!  
  
Participant of The TroDuo Fic contest  
  
  
~Fools Aplenty~  
  
'I want to kill him if...no that would only hurt him. I don't want that, not to  
him, especially not him.'  
  
Fists clenching and unclenching, Trowa Barton stepped into the room where the   
subject of his homicidal intentions sat obliviously typing away at that infernal   
laptop.  
  
"Bastard."  
  
~*Flashback~*  
  
"Oi, Hee-chan, wanna go somewhere with me?" Duo bounded into the living room of  
the new safe house, stationing his genki, little self behind the computer chair.   
Peering over the Wing pilot's shoulder, he asked grinning, "The lake's really  
nice and I thought we could..."   
  
The violet-eyed boy fidgeted with the end of his braid as he asked Heero. He  
knew the answer before he asked but he figured it wouldn't hurt to try anyway.   
Who knows Heero might finally give up and actually pay attention to him.  
  
"Hn," was all that the stoic boy could reply. 'Thank the gods' Heero was  
grateful that his body did not betray him at the other's close proximity.  
  
"Oh, that's ok then, um, how about we go hiking? This place is so neat. Did  
you see that lake? Oh, man! And that forest---I've never seen so many trees in  
one place," Duo chatted happily.  
  
"Baka."   
  
The smile on the heart-shaped face wavered at the harsh response, but continued  
relatively undaunted despite that the subject of all his attention did not face  
him nor pause in his typing.  
  
  
"R-Right. Well I thought it was neat, is all and since we've been cooped up  
here for days now..." Duo rambled, panicking to see his venture to spend some time  
with Heero falling to pieces.  
  
The cobalt-eyed boy finally turned away from the laptop to only glare at Duo.   
"I have no time for such childishness."  
  
Duo chuckled, "But *we* are technically children."  
  
Heero shot out off his chair, "I was never a child," he growled, his eyes feral  
and his face only mere inches away from Duo's, he continued, "I was born to be  
a soldier. As for you..." He sneered, "You are unfit to call yourself as such  
with your foolish behaviour."  
  
Duo stood, gaping at Heero. His mouth opening and closing but no words came  
forth. The cobalt-eyed boy snorted and returned to his seat, facing away from  
the still speechless boy.   
  
Moments past until Duo spoke.  
  
"You had no right to say that, Heero Yuy...No right, at all," Duo choked out.   
"I have suffered as you have in this god forsaken war, maybe even more..." his  
volume grew louder as he spoke. "But don't you dare question my validity of  
being a soldier. Sorry if my efforts of trying to get to know you or trying to  
befriend you is so offensive," Duo swallowed. " Fine, I won't bother  
then," he said, voice catching.  
  
With his back facing Duo, Heero forced his body not to betray the hurt he felt  
at the words voiced angrily at him. Tightly clenching his eyes shut, he  
pictured in his mind of violet eyes fighting valiantly to keep the tears at bay.  
The image broke his heart.  
  
Duo tore out of the room, braid snapping like a banner in a gale in his haste to  
leave the company of one seemingly unaffected Heero Yuy.  
  
As he heard the retreating footsteps diminish, the dark-haired boy's cobalt eyes  
softened as he gazed to where Duo had fled. 'Gomenasai, Duo. You are a great  
soldier, better than I will ever be. Only a fool would not consider you as a  
friend.' Heero exhaled the breath he unconsciously held, set to firmly ignore  
the slight pain in his chest and returned to his task. 'Missions' are safe.   
Feelings are irrelevant' he told himself. 'Yes, feelings are irrelevant...Damn  
it.'  
  
A snarl from behind broke the momentary silence.  
  
"Bastard."  
  
~*End flashback~*  
  
Heero swiftly turned his head, his eyes widening at the sight: Trowa Barton  
visibly angry---a sight not seen even in the heat of battle. His emerald gaze  
blazed with such fury promising bodily harm, fists clenching and unclenching,  
and his jaws set---definitely a rare thing to behold associating the normally  
cool, levelheaded pilot of Heavyarms.  
  
"Hn." Heero gave a momentary glance at the irate pilot and turned back to the  
screen.  
  
"Don't you dare ignore me!" Trowa stalked up to Heero's chair, roughly turning  
the swivel chair to face him.  
  
Heero stared impassively at the looming figure of the taller boy. "What?" he  
said impassively.  
  
"I saw what you did," Trowa bit out.   
  
"Saw what?" Heero monotoned, face neutral.  
  
"You're such a bastard. I saw everything you unfeeling jerk," Trowa stepped  
back from Heero and began to pace back and forth, a good distance away from the  
seated boy. He had to control the urge of throttling of one Heero Yuy but with   
said Heero being so close to him, it was tempting --but hey, he could always   
lunge at Heero. No prob. Trowa's quite flexible. [1]   
  
"I saw what you did to Duo," he repeated, his anger rendering him unable to  
articulate his fury against the other. He had rushed in as soon as the  
braided-boy left to confront Heero but before forming some sort of argument, the  
only fuel he had was the seething rage he felt.  
  
"So you're spying on him now," Heero smirked, a brow raised. The Wing pilot  
knew of the green-eyed pilot's infatuation to his partner and was jealous of  
that fact but feigned ignorance around the others, especially around those two.  
  
"..." Trowa blinked.  
  
"What, then? I don't have time for this," smirk now firmly replaced with a  
scowl, Heero started to turn his chair back but stopped midway.  
  
"He loves you, you know," Trowa said suddenly. It was almost a whisper; his  
shock of brown hair hiding the pain on his face from the truth he knew too well.  
  
"I know," Heero said just as softly. "And you are correct---I am a bastard," he  
bowed his head.  
  
"So why?" the taller boy demanded.  
  
Heero looked up, meeting the feral gaze of emerald eyes. "Because I don't  
deserve it. His love. Him," he finished.  
  
"Damn right, you don't," Trowa spat, agreeing wholeheartedly. He couldn't  
believe that Heero would allow pass up such an opportunity, of the like he  
longed for himself. "You could've at least been more civil to him. God knows  
he deserves as much. He is putting his heart on the line for an unfeeling  
bastard like you. You make me sick." He couldn't stand the sight of Heero and  
started to leave, but something made him stop dead in his tracks.   
  
Did he hear that right? No, that was impossible. He did not hear that right.  
  
"What did you say?" Trowa prompted, feigning indifference and failing miserably.  
  
"I said he love you as well."   
  
Trowa stood motionless. 'He loves me?'   
  
Heero nodded. "I've seen how your eyes follow him. I know how you are always   
there for him and never far from reach, monitoring his missions; hiding behind   
the shadows," Heero glanced at Trowa and quickly lowered his head again. 'As I do,'  
he thought to himself. "I've always known...you can't deny it, Trowa. Neither can  
I deny that I'm not worthy of him," he whispered hoarsely.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Come off it, Trowa," Heero looked up, glaring daggers. "I'm not stupid and  
neither are you."  
  
Breathing deeply, Trowa steeling himself. "True, I do care for him but I can't..."  
  
Heero ruefully shook his head, "I was mistaken then, *we* are fools; the both of  
us," Heero finally turned away from Trowa. The typing of keys was the only  
sound in the otherwise silent room.  
  
'He loves me. '  
  
  
[1] I just had to add that in^___^  
  
  
  
* ~ * ~  
  
It was a beautiful day. Outside, the sun shone and the wind blew against the  
backdrop; the leaves rustled and swayed gently in the breeze. Below the  
canopies, a black-clad figure leaned against an aging oak in a state of repose.  
Its face tilted to the warmth of the sun high above the clouds, a small smile  
etched on an elfin face. The eyes were closed and its long, dark lashes  
contrasted greatly on the milky, alabaster skin making the beautiful creature a  
worthy gift bestowed from Mother Nature. A serene picture of true tranquility  
marred only by the slight knitting of the beauty's brows.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"How di-" was the surprised reply.  
  
A violet eye cracked open, sparkling with amusement. He rose to a seated  
position against the tree and stared at Trowa evenly, grinning. "-Did I know,"  
Duo finished. He shrugged, "With the life I've led paranoia naturally comes  
with the package."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The matter of fact tone disturbed Trowa, he could not but feel the need to reach  
over to the braided boy and gather him in his arms, never to let go. Years of  
self-control were the only thing holding him. That and fear.   
  
'I can't risk losing him even if it means I have to be silent of my feelings.'  
  
Not knowing what to do, Trowa walked from his hiding spot behind the tree that  
was directly behind from Duo's.  
  
"May I seat here with you?" The taller boy asked politely, almost afraid of  
what his action might evoke in the other.  
  
"Sure." Duo shrugged and scooted over to make room for Trowa and moved the  
sketchbook that he had been working on to the other side of him. The taller  
pilot slightly smiled as he caught a glimpse of the beautiful sketches on the  
book. 'I guess none of us really knows anything about the real Duo Maxwell.'  
  
Trowa sat next to Duo, a comfortable distance between the two; well, as far as  
Trowa can tell. 'No need to make it worse by making him uncomfortable, 'he  
thought as he glanced at the braided-boy surreptitiously by his side.  
  
He watched entranced as the wind played with the wisps of chestnut hair that had  
escaped the braid. He was so engrossed with the thought of tucking the wayward  
strands behind the delicate shells that was Duo's ears; he almost missed what  
the other had said the second time.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I said 'Are you okay?'" Duo stated, clearly amused by the lost expression of  
Trowa's face. Duo reached over with a hand, brushing the shock of brown bangs  
and placed a cool hand on the other's forehead. "Hmmm. You don't have a fever,"   
Duo observed, voice serious.  
  
Trowa could have squealed with delight from that tender touch if it were in his  
nature.  
  
"Thank you for your concern, Duo. But I am fine." Trowa assured the other. "But   
are *you* okay?" Trowa almost groaned when the hand placed on his forehead abruptly   
fell away.  
  
Duo sighed, turned his back to Trowa. He looked across at the lake as the water  
gently lapped at the shore. "Yeah, I'm fine." He faced him again, "Nothing I  
can't handle," he grinned weakly then turned to gaze at the water wistfully.   
  
"Ya know, I've never seen so much water like this before. I remember the first   
time I ever saw rain and no, not like the acidic crap that L2 passes for water,   
mind you." Chuckling, he continued, "I practically jumped out off my skin from the  
first time a raindrop hit me thinking I'd get burn. What I wouldn't give to  
have this much water back then..."  
  
"Duo."  
  
"Yeah, what I wouldn't give to..." he repeated more to himself than Trowa.  
  
'Does he mean the water? I don't understand' Trowa thought fretfully.  
  
"Duo?" Trowa repeated in a worried tone.  
  
"Isn't it weird, Trowa?" Duo interrupted and turned to the other seated boy.  
  
"What?" Trowa slightly cocked his head to the side, his bangs falling over to  
expose the usually hidden eye.  
  
Duo grinned at the sight. "Hey, first time I've ever seen both of your eyes  
since we've met," he joked as he looked away again. He murmured, "I like it."  
  
"What?" An elegant brow rose.  
  
Duo smiled. "Nothing."  
  
"Is everything all right?" Trowa leaned closer.  
  
"I'm just tired," Duo sighed and shrugged, "...of everything..." He  
huddled into a ball, arms wrapped around bent knees, slightly rocking in place.  
  
Trowa reached out a hand on a shoulder and lightly squeezed. "I know." 'So am  
I,' he thought.  
  
"Damn it!" Duo shot out to his feet. "No! You don't, none of you knows...."  
  
The green-eyed boy remained seated on the ground, looking bemusedly up at the  
boy from his sudden outburst.  
  
"None of you knows how fuckin' tiring it is to pretend---pretending to be  
something that I'm not. I don't want to do that anymore," violet eyes pleaded  
with emerald green, he finished in a pained whisper, "I'm tired of smiling."  
  
'And I'm tired too' Trowa agreed. "Duo, I..."  
  
"Heero was right. I am unfit for a soldier. I guess I'm too much of a baka,"  
Duo agreed resignedly, smiling down at Trowa. "Who the hell could love a   
person like me,ne?" He giggled disparagingly, eyes glistened with a watery sheen   
to them.  
  
"Heero."  
  
"Heero?" Brows wrinkled at the name, he stepped closer to Trowa.  
  
"He loves you."  
  
"Trowa, please. Don't say that." A look of despair crossed his face. "Please  
stop. He can't love me, that's not how it's supposed to be. No you're wrong,  
Trowa. He can't..."  
  
"What?" Trowa asked, thoroughly confused. 'Duo doesn't lie' Trowa reminded  
himself. "So do you? Do *you* love him?"  
  
"Yeah...I think I do." His shoulders slumped down in defeat.  
  
Trowa felt indescribable pain from the declaration. It's a completely different  
matter from knowing it to actually hearing the actual words coming from the one  
you love. "What do you mean 'that's not how it's supposed to be'?"  
  
"I'll end up killing him," Duo answered, violet eyes gleaming with such  
intensity. "Everyone that ever returned their feelings for me always end up dying.   
I loved them all, they loved me in return and they all died because of it, "he  
shook his head. "I promised myself to never let that happen, I can care for  
Heero as much I want.... but he can't do the same. Their love for me would mean  
death, I am Death," he looked down at Trowa's seated form. "Do you  
understand?" He pleaded, he was in the brinks of tears again.   
  
'Is that why he feels for Heero? Because he thinks he can't die on him,' Trowa  
thought incredulously.   
  
"You don't love him," he concluded, bluntly.  
  
Violet eyes widened with anger. "Shut the hell up!"  
  
"Your love for him is not true. I thought you don't tell lies, Duo. So why are   
lying to yourself?" Trowa pressed on, ignoring the growing rage of the other.  
  
"Shut up, Trowa! I do love him," Duo argued, shouting. "I do, I do, I do..." he  
repeated the litany.  
  
Trowa stood up, walking over to the distraught boy. "None of it was your fault,"   
he said simply. Lifting to cup the sides of Duo's face, he placed a chaste kiss   
on the shorter boy's forehead before turning to leave.  
  
"Trowa?" Duo called to the retreating back. "I love you."  
  
"..." Trowa remained silent in understanding.   
  
Duo smiled.  
  
"It was my pleasure," the taller boy answered, not glancing back.  
  
"Thanks, Trowa." Duo looked back to the water. "Maybe someday..."   
  
Believing the other had not heard the hushed confession, Trowa replied, "I'll be  
there."  
  
  
Owari   
  
  
C&Cs? I did not win the contest btw. He-he_ I never stood a chance...Oh well.  
  



End file.
